The MOO room
by Lost Lenore
Summary: My next chapter is up! I think it maybe the best one yet... maybe not... you will finally know what the MOO room is!
1. Break In of the Cow

Disclaimer: All people who use IZ or other Jhonen Vasquez material without permission or disclaimer are subject to decapitation. Okay, Jhonen won't chop your head off, but you know the drill, right?  
  
Dib walked down the street. It was 7:00 P.M., Friday, pizza night. He knew he'd better get home before 9:00 or Gaz would kill him. All was going as planned. He passed by a few houses. He suddenly stopped in front of the oddest house on the block. It's "I love Earth" banner was dimly lit by the flickering street light above. Armed with only a camera and what he managed to fit in his backpack, Dib made his way into ZIM's yard. He stopped occasionally to dodge a knome's gaze, staying within the blind spot he had worked on for months.  
  
This was the night all ZIM's plans would be busted. He was so near! Dib took one big breath before stepping onto the porch.  
  
The door swung open. The bright light from inside the house gave two tall figures a silhouette. "Welcome home son!" they said in unison. Dib could make out these were just ZIM's "parents", crudely built robots with more than a few glitches.  
  
Dib hesitantly walked in after scanning the area for ZIM. He had broken into the living room, he realized, noticing the couch and TV Across the living room was the kitchen.  
  
He put down his backpack and found a rope of some kind, about 30 feet long. He threw it up towards the ceiling where it swung up and over a long, winding metal pipe. The excess rope fell down to Dib, where he made a noose at the end. He slipped the rope through the noose, pulled it tight, and climbed to the top.  
  
Dib had had lots of practice climbing ropes. Between his paranoid break-ins and gym class, he had gotten accustomed to the vertical scale.  
  
At the top, he clung onto more metal pipes, wires, and metal arms. Slowly, he climbed his way, monkey bar style, into the kitchen.  
  
"Success!" he thought as he clamored over the threshold, or, well, above the threshold. The kitchen had seemed vacant. It was vacant. He thought.  
  
"How 'bout a cupcake?" rang a strange artificial voice. GIR was standing below Dib with a grin and a plate of fresh baked cupcakes. Dib, although slightly surprised and rather frightened, knew this robot all too well.  
  
Dib climbed down onto the floor. "Uh, thanks…" he said as he accepted GIR's offering.  
  
He could use this as an advantage. GIR knew where ZIM was… it was just a matter of figuring that out. After a dispute with himself, Dib just asked it as straight forward as possible (after he had eaten the cupcake).  
  
"Where's ZIM?" Dib asked.  
  
"I dunno" replied GIR.  
  
"You do know."  
  
"No! Wait… yes."  
  
"Take me to him."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Now."  
  
"After the puuuuding!"  
  
"I do not want pudding, I want ZIM."  
  
"Okay…" said GIR in despair. He had worked hard on that 'puuuuding'.  
  
GIR brought Dib to the toilet that resided in the back of the kitchen.  
  
"There ya goooo!" said GIR.  
  
Dib looked at him puzzled. "What do you mean? That's a toilet."  
  
GIR stared at him, and then grabbed Dib and shoved him in the toilet. It immediately flushed, and down went Dib, swirling down to ZIM's lab.  
  
GIR followed Dib down the winding tunnel. Finally, the twosome landed in ZIM's lab. GIR grabbed onto Dib's hand and started skipping in a childish manner across the room, pulling poor clueless Dib along.  
  
"It's amazing!" Dib thought.  
  
On and on they went, through a perpetual room with large computers, and a giant monitor. GIR stopped at an elevator. He pressed a red button and stepped inside. He beckoned Dib to follow.  
  
Dib walked in, still in awe and taking note in his head of every detail. He had obviously forgotten the mission. The well lit elevator snapped it's doors shut and began it's descent unto ZIM's lair.  
  
Just a few moments later, it came to a thud, and the doors pulled themselves open. GIR turned his face into a smile.  
  
Dib looked around at the huge computers, wires, monitors, strange keyboards, and platforms. He noticed what to him was a spacecraft, (ZIM's Voot cruiser) was round and not very aerodynamic.  
  
GIR skipped along merrily until he came to a computer with a chair, it's back turned towards the two.  
  
"Master!!!!! Company!!!!" GIR squealed joyously.  
  
"GIR, did you let the moose in again? I told you he's apart of the mission!" said a familiar voice.  
  
"Oh no, the moose ran away yesterday. I brought Dib!" replied the robot.  
  
The chair swung around and ZIM turned and faced Dib.  
  
"So, Dib, I see GIR caught you didn't he?" started ZIM.  
  
"Actually, he let me in and led me to you." Replied Dib in a cool manner. He had run out of amazement, and he was already getting accustomed to his surroundings and getting into his I'm-going-to-blow-your-cover kind of mood.  
  
He suddenly remembered the camera and the backpack on his back. He had been oblivious to it the whole time. He took it off, to get something out, but ZIM noticed it.  
  
"GIR, remove item from intruder!" ZIM barked.  
  
GIR's eyes changed from blue to red, and his face from a smile to a serious, straight mouth.  
  
"Yes, sir! I obey!" said GIR in monotone. He snatched away the backpack and gave it to ZIM.  
  
"Of all my rivals I've ever encountered, you have to be the least unprepared." ZIM said in a cruel irony sort of way. It was agitating to be caught like this. There he was, just now remembering the mission, and he was caught red-handed by the one he intended to foil.  
  
Dib tried to run away, so he could at least tell his story. ZIM, though, was actually on the ball, and GIR was listening. (Scary, no?)  
  
GIR took Dib down with one tackle from behind, picked up the fallen intruders legs, and carried him (or rather dragged him) back to ZIM.  
  
ZIM laughed in a tauntingly evil way.  
  
"Muhahaha! Dib, you idiot! Did you actually think I'd let you get away with this? I upgraded GIR's obedience chip so he'd listen. So make this easy on yourself, and just wait for YOUR MOOING FATE!" ZIM yelled. He laughed some more, but quickly snapped back and said "GIR, take him to the MOO room!"  
  
What ZIM meant by the 'MOO room' was beyond Dib's imagination. All he could think about was Gaz, hoping it was pizza night, and she'd come and get him.  
  
  
  
  
  
Sooooooooo….. What d'ya think? * Hides from audience's 'boos' and hisses * okay, okay, it wasn't humor and it wasn't good, but just r&r for meh, k? More chapters commin' up, cus I wouldn't leave ya with a cliffhanger! 


	2. The Challenge

Disclaimer: You shall die if you do not bow down to Jhonen and pray for his forgiveness if you misuse IZ and all related logos!  
  
Note: * wipes tear from eye * wow, someone even threatened to kill me if I didn't write more! I'm so happy!  
  
And our story continues…..  
  
GIR, tired of dragging poor Dib lifted him up over his head. ZIM was rolling with laughter at the sight of his rival's situation.  
  
GIR somehow was strong and sturdy enough to carry Dib. All the way across the room, Dib could barely make out a little door marked with a sign that said "WARNING".  
  
"What is you're obsession with livestock and large mammals anyway?" Dib asked.  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about, earth-monkey!" ZIM replied harshly.  
  
"Well, first," Dib started, "you tried to hurl our class into a room with a moose!" Dib pointed out.  
  
"And then there was that time you came to class covered in hamburger meat from Mac Meaty's!" he said again. This time he shouted, since he was almost to whatever that room was.  
  
ZIM ordered GIR to stop his procession to the MOO room. ZIM ushered GIR to bring Dib over and place him in a chair. He did so, and two restraints came up from the armrests around Dib's wrists, almost tight enough to cut off circulation.  
  
He actually looked thoughtful about Dib's statements. He hadn't taken time to realize all these things.  
  
"You won't be going to the MOO room just yet. I have some things I'd like to show you." He said. ZIM reached into a drawer by his computer that opened when he touched it.  
  
He grabbed his hall pass he had gotten the time he had head-pigeons. By Irken engineering (and really, just some slippery butter) ZIM had gotten it over his head, and inactivated it.  
  
ZIM tried to put it over Dib's head but it wouldn't fit.  
  
"I can't get this on because of your disturbingly large head, Dib!" ZIM shouted in aggravation.  
  
"My head is NOT disturbingly large!" Dib said in defense.  
  
"SILENCE! Not another word out of you, large-headed Earth larva!!!" screamed ZIM.  
  
"And what are you going to do with me, ZIM? Put me in your MOO room? Your little games won't work! I think I've seen them all! What's in your MOO room, a little cow! Your tricks don't frighten me, you might as well give up!" Dib shouted.  
  
ZIM looked Dib in the eye, his fists clenched, and there was more anger in his voice when he said, "YOU SHALL MEET THE COW!"  
  
Dib, seeing the perfect opportunity, laughed madly.  
  
"What do you take me for, ZIM? I may be younger, but I know more about you then you do about me!" he said with a glint in his eye.  
  
"BE QUIET, EARTH SLAAAAAAVE!" ZIM shouted louder than the two had shouted in their whole rivalship.  
  
Finally, GIR, who had just been watching this head-to-head drama unfold, did something that ZIM had modified him not to do: explode. Apparently, loud noises had disturbed his chip, and he exploded. Pieces of the robot (arms, legs, head) flew all over in a rain of metal and sparks.  
  
"Ummmm…. I can fix that." said ZIM.  
  
"Computer! Repair GIR!" ZIM ordered. One of the house's robotic arms cam and picked up the remains of the tiny robot, and lifted them somewhere above ZIM and Dib.  
  
The explosion puzzled ZIM. But he couldn't just let Dib go. That just wouldn't be logical.  
  
After a few moments of silence, Dib went back to pestering and taunting ZIM.  
  
"What do you have in that room, anyway?" Dib asked half out of curiosity, half out of annoyance.  
  
"Why don't you walk in there and find out?" ZIM asked.  
  
"I would if you let me out of this chair!" he said, reminding ZIM he was still tied up.  
  
"You have to fight to get out. I'll make a deal with you." ZIM said in a low evil voice.  
  
"Oh, great, you're talking in your sinister voice. Wait… what kind of a deal?" Dib asked.  
  
"We'll race! A race above Earth. We'll use my spacecrafts, and race until someone crosses the finish line. If you win, you get to know what's in the MOO room." said ZIM.  
  
"And if you win?" Dib asked.  
  
"If I win, I'll put you in the MOO room and do tests on you… but not in that order. You wouldn't come out of the MOO room alive anyway." ZIM replied.  
  
"Dib thought about it. After a few seconds he said, although very quiet and hesitantly, "It's a deal."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~1 hour later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
ZIM was ready in his Voot Cruiser. Dib was ready in his very own beat-up vehicle that ZIM had lying around.  
  
They had risen several miles above Earth, straight above ZIM's house. Dib and ZIM were lined up, ready to go. The navigational systems were set on the vehicle's computers so they would know where to go.  
  
ZIM had set a course for the two to go to Dib's house, and come back.  
  
"Dib is so gullible!" thought ZIM. He had rigged Dib's racecourse differently. ZIM would just do the race, and escort Dib to his space station.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Meanwhile….~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
GIR was completed and all repaired. He resumed his post in front of the TV, just in time for "The Scary Monkey Show".  
  
All of the sudden, there was a knock at the door.  
  
"PIZZA MAAAN!" yelled GIR in excitement.  
  
He rushed to the door, swung it open, and hugged the dark figure on the porch.  
  
"I love you pizza man!" he said.  
  
"Get off me!" said the figure. Before GIR knew it, he had flown across the living room and into the wall.  
  
"Where's Dib?" asked the figure. It stepped in, revealing that the figure was really Gaz.  
  
She stood, shadowed, angry, and awfully hungry. It was pizza night, and she wasn't allowed to order pizza without Dib. Professor Membrane made that rule, for who knows why.  
  
"Where's Dib?" she repeated, getting more agitated.  
  
"A giant mongoose flew down and ate Dib's giant head!" exclaimed GIR.  
  
"Really?!" Gaz asked. Her eyes lit up in excitement, hoping to find her brother decapitated somewhere in the house.  
  
"Ummmm… no!" said GIR with a smile.  
  
"Well, where is he?" she asked again, back to being angry.  
  
"I don't know!!!" exclaimed GIR happily.  
  
Suddenly, the TV turned on, and ZIM was on it.  
  
"So, you're fixed GIR! Good, because Dib and I are about to race, and.… wait! Who's that? Widdle Gazzy coming to wescue her brother?" ZIM said in a baby voice.  
  
"Give me back Dib, or prepare to die!" she said with clenched fists.  
  
"I'm above my house right now, thousands of miles away." ZIM said.  
  
Gaz looked at GIR, then said "Take me up there!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Oooh, what's gonna happen? And what is the MOO room? Next chapter should be up in 2-3 days! I'm sorry this one was so short. 


	3. The MOOing Dicovery

Disclaimer: * sniff * * sob * No, I don't own IZ… (. But Jhonen does!  
  
Note: R&R, I just want to know if anyone's been reading this… hey! You are! I award you with a bowl of Jell-o!  
  
  
  
  
  
GIR skipped along with Gaz walking behind. She followed GIR to the kitchen, where she found the toilet. She followed GIR as he got in, and she descended with the little robot.  
  
When they where at the right place, GIR got off and continued directing Gaz from in front, skipping still.  
  
He stopped at three parked, beaten up Voot cruisers.  
  
"Yay!" GIR exclaimed.  
  
"Hmph!" Gaz replied as she boarded the one in the best condition.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, ZIM and Dib where getting ready. They stared at the navigational screens as it counted down…  
  
5…  
  
4…  
  
3…  
  
2…  
  
1…  
  
Vwoosh! They were off! Or, at least one of them was. While ZIM went on the pre-plotted course, Dib was turned around in the wrong direction, and the spacecraft docked at ZIM's space station.  
  
Dib was yanked out of his craft and thrown into a metal cage. He wasn't awe struck about the space station. He had already been there in a similar instant.  
  
2 minutes later, ZIM walked in.  
  
"I see you fell for my trap, didn't you Dib?" ZIM asked.  
  
"You're not getting away with this, ZIM!" Dib said with angst. "My sister's coming to get me!"  
  
"I'm afraid you're wrong again. GIR is now programmed not to help intruders." ZIM replied calmly. "Now, prepare to meet the MOO room!" he said evilly.  
  
A monitor across the room showed the image of a small, thin cow eating grass. The image, however, was upside down, due to ZIM's ingenuity with electronics.  
  
"Hahahaha! That's what's in your scary MOO room? An underfed cow?" Dib asked, trying to hold in laughter.  
  
"Oh, you laugh now, puny human, but in 5 seconds, life will be over for you!" ZIM replied with anger.  
  
He put his finger on a red button, pushed it, and…  
  
Nothing. The cow was supposed to transfer to Dib's cage. Something was wrong.  
  
ZIM shouted "WHAT?" and Dib laughed harder than ever.  
  
"STOP LAUGHING DIB! YOUR FATE IS NEAR!" ZIM returned, threateningly.  
  
He pressed a green button, and a door opened above Dib's cage, and a chicken plopped out.  
  
It was a big, fat, white chicken.  
  
"BUCKA!" it squealed, then jumped on Dib's head. It began to peck at his head, and clawed Dib's face with its claws.  
  
"AAAAAAHHHHH! All my worst dreams come true!!!!" Dib screamed in pain.  
  
All ZIM could do was sit back and roll on the floor laughing. It was sweet revenge.  
  
  
  
Back at ZIM's house, Gaz had boarded ZIM's makeshift spacecraft and ascended. She had let GIR in to navigate.  
  
"Wanna hear a sooong?" GIR asked eagerly.  
  
"No" replied Gaz.  
  
"Okay! Poof poosh poofy poofy fhoohee fhoohey fhoofy" sang GIR to the tune of a rap song.  
  
"Shut-up!" snapped Gaz as she smacked GIR across the face with the back of her hand.  
  
"Lobsters!" said GIR with a smile as he flew through the air.  
  
They docked at ZIM's spacestation, and walked in. There were many wires and monitors, keyboards, and electronics. Gaz didn't care. She was on a mission to order pizza.  
  
She found her way to where ZIM and Dib were. ZIM was working with an occasional laugh at Dib, and Dib still flailed around in the cage like an idiot.  
  
Gaz kicked ZIM from behind, and he jolted around. GIR went over to Dib's cage and started calling the chicken.  
  
"Chicken, here chicken!" he called.  
  
ZIM turned his attention to Gaz.  
  
"Give me back Dib!" she yelled hoarsely.  
  
"No, he's my prisoner." Replied ZIM childishly.  
  
"Now!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Now!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Now, before I rip your arms off, ZIM!" threatened Gaz.  
  
"No!" replied ZIM, obviously lacking the sense of what Gaz was capable of.  
  
She grabbed ZIM by one arm, and threw him at the computer. Sparks flew, and the picture of the cow in the MOO room faded, then disappeared.  
  
GIR was still calling the chicken, and he was raising his voice, louder and louder, until he began banging his head on the cage.  
  
"Chicken, chicken, chicken!!!!" he screamed. Between each word he hit his head on the bars.  
  
Dib was still waving his arms around and running in circles in the cage, and ZIM was lying on a bed of sparks and wires. Gaz stood there, noticing all the chaos.  
  
"ZIM, this place is weirder than my house." She stated. ZIM was rather unconscious, his eyes were closed and his antennae were back.  
  
She shrugged her shoulders.  
  
GIR kept on banging his head on the cage until he had a dent on his head that damaged his movement chip. GIR shut down, and fell limp on the ground.  
  
Gaz noticed she would be able to haul Dib's cage and connect it to her spacecraft she had come in.  
  
She did so, and blasted off. The chicken was still mauling Dib, and he was still screaming bloody murder.  
  
  
  
When they landed in front of their house, Gaz jumped out, pulled Dib and his chicken in the house, and ordered pizza.  
  
She dialed 555-PIZZA-NOW, and placed her order.  
  
"Bloaty's Pizza Hog, how may I help you?" said the delivery guy.  
  
"One extra large cheese pizza please."  
  
"It should be there in… 5 seconds!"  
  
She hung up. Pretty soon, there was a knock at the door, but when she opened it, it wasn't who she expected…  
  
  
  
  
  
Ooh, who could it be? Next one might be running late, but it should be up before April 6th. R&R! 


End file.
